Thursday, July 31, 2008

change is good.

News quote of the day:

"what up this?" - shepard.

Next week, my friends. Next week :D

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


I'm currently waiting for the DC DMV's hotline to open up, so I can ask them about 20 annoying questions, but until then I'm going to annoy you.
I feel that anxiety in my chest right now, just like I always do when I'm about to make any "big" decision.
I've got to call my future landloard and haggle. Which consists of me begging if she can lower the price.
I'm honestly also freaking out about the parking situation. Bethel II (I might start calling her Bethesda) is a bitch. She's rude to me, but I try and take care of her. Hopefully I won't get too many tickets as I wait to get my DC permit. Maybe the parking garage gods will be good to me. As my current permit runs out in two days.

God, some days I don't want to be old anymore.

Did I say I cried at work last week? Yep. I'm such a freakin' girly girl.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

something more.

It feels like August will bring change. A new gust of wind will blow over me.
I'm taking a break. From the disorders.
I'm going to spend a little time in the sun, havin' fun.
Forget the rules, just play the game.

Friday, July 25, 2008

is there?

Is there a good way to say goodbye
When you're leaving all you had 'cause your love has run dry
Is there a good way to be a bad girl
When you're taking all that's given from the world

Is there a good way to move ahead
Without selling out your soul for some water or some bread
Is there a good way to learn your lesson and stay alive


I've been looking for something all of my life
Maybe in some other city I'll see the light

Is there a good way to say goodbye
To this fantasy world, to this lie
Is there a good way to get out before you're jaded

I need to find a good way to say goodbye
Is there a good way to say goodbye


I've been looking for something all of my life
Maybe in some other city I'll be alright

Is there a good way to leave him alone
When you find his love just hits too close to home
Is there a good way to deny everything you thought you needed

I need to find a good way to say goodbye
Is there a good way to say goodbye


I've been looking for something all of my life
Maybe I'll find somebody who'll make things alright
I've been looking for something all of my live
Maybe in some other city I'll be alright

I've been looking for you

Monday, July 21, 2008

stranger in a strange land.

So, I might have a room downtown. I'm going to see it Thursday.
Wednesday is going up to Maryland and to the station (only 4 more days!)
I figured out the ice machine in the dorm, so that makes me much happier.
I went out to VA yesterday to check out a place, cried at the metro (I'm so good at that).

I figured out why many people get married young. After the vows, there's someone to help you with the struggle. There's someone to look at apartments with you, help you decide where to move. Sure, you may have to compromise - but the decision doesn't hang on just you.
But I'm going to make it through this. I'm going to be stressed out for the next few weeks, but then, somehow, someway, everything will be ok. I'll have a roof over my head and food in my stomach. I have employment.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

can you handle the truth?

  • It freaking sucks. I understand why people who hate their jobs just don't care anymore. Because it's pointless. There's nothing you can do.. but sit there and read the WaPo.
  • I freaking need this apartment... decent area of town and good rent. PLEASE!!!!!
  • WHERE ARE YOU???!!!
  • I don't know if I'm going to graduate school here... I might just hang on until I find a job in a small market in the South.. where people are nice.
  • I need a fan.
  • I need a fanatic.
  • My head freaking hurts.
  • I don't want to touch tv news for a while after my five last days are up. I don't want to watch it, talk about it or read about it... which will be hard. But then I think I could handle it again. I've just got to mentally wash this experience out of me..
  • I don't care how cold the room gets. Just leave the a/c on. I'm too Southern to have it stuffy. It reminds me of brownouts.
  • I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me.

Monday, July 14, 2008


Who wants to swoop in and save me?

Any takers?

Huh? Huh?

Saturday, July 12, 2008

a fragment of light.

  • Let me be your biscuit.
  • Please help me find money for school.
  • Please give me a job.
  • Smile.
  • Please tell me you won't stop being my friend when August comes.
  • Six.
  • Goodbye, good riddance.
  • Is there a chance?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Thank you.

I'm so glad I'm not 17,18,19 anymore.
Sure, I'm practically the same person - but I've grown up so much in just the few years.
I've had my heart partially broken, I've met my icon, I've seen my dream job.
I've laughed, cried, cursed and prayed.

I am no longer that 19-year-old hungry. I've learned.
I am not fat. I am not hideous.
I am smart, fun, comical, sweet, honest and lovable.

Alcohol does not give you those things. Beauty does not make you lovable.
I am damn lovable.. and someday, there will be a guy that's smart, fun, comical, sweet, honest and lovable.. to love me.
And I don't need a cup in my hand to try and find him. I don't need to put on a show for him. I will just be myself.. and that will be just right for him.

Monday, July 7, 2008

but it's taking so long...

I miss him. I laugh with him.

I probably wouldn't be this way....

Sunday, July 6, 2008

American girl

Well she was an american girl
Raised on promises
She couldnt help thinkin that there
Was a little more to life
Somewhere else
After all it was a great big world
With lots of places to run to
Yeah, an d if she had to die
Tryin she had one little promise
She was gonna keep

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy baby
Make it last all night
She was an american girl

It was kind of cold that night
She stood alone on her balcony
She could the cars roll by
Out on 441
Like waves crashin in the beach
And for one desperate moment there
He crept back in her memory
God its so painful
Something thats so close
And still so far out of reach

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy baby
Make it last all night
She was an american girl

popeye's on the southside.

"That was awfully forward of me."

"Where's the jelly, babe?"

"Toes!! TOOOOEEESSS!!!!"

"You were laughing at the Latinos, weren't you?"

Saturday, July 5, 2008

the good stuff.

  • Only 4 more Wednesdays.
  • 4 more Saturdays (with photog, hopefully)
  • I've got mashed potatoes.
  • I finally got into "North Toward Home"
  • Sugarland - Life in a Northern Town
  • ice water.
  • today feels good.

end of the road

I can't let go.

Friday, July 4, 2008

don't regret this life I chose for me

It's hard when you are beginning a career. Truthfully, you know that you are at least decent at what you do. If you are like me, you try your best to do everything perfectly, from making the coffee to writing a story. And when there are people that do the job you want without being perfect (grammatical mistakes) it hurts. It feels like all these years of doing your own personal best aren't going to be enough. I know I have major weaknesses. I'm horrible at making friends - making conversations with people who aren't like me.
I hope one day I'll have a job where I enjoy the people around me and the product we produce. Until that day, I guess I'll have to keep searching.
I'm reading (among other things) "Reality Show" by Howard Kurtz. I was reading about one of the network anchors who thought of themselves as failures. I don't think anyone can call any of those anchors failures, not even the ones that are in 3rd. But it was comforting to know, as I was riding the Metro after a long day of work (work that I got to help offset the costs of an unpaid news internship) that in the end it will eventually be worth it. Even if this is my failure, there will be a success one day.
I think I want to pick a city in the South and make it my own. Who cares if the state has already been conquered? Maybe I'll finally go west, instead of calling the east my west. I want to throw a dart at a map, find a job and move. All my life I thought I wanted to work in a large market, but now that I see people here, I don't know anymore. I want to bust it at a small market, where it's okay to make mistakes, to learn, to BREATHE.
I guess I know to much about the companies that operate news stations and too much about how the business works.