Saturday, August 30, 2008


I stared at this painting for a long time at the Gallery of Art today. The impressionists and the post-impressionists are the only art that can move me. Monet and Van Gogh are the ones that make my heart soar. The dusty colors, the mess of the strokes - form something beautiful. One day, I'm going to have a print of this over my fireplace.
I love how you can't see if that's a person in the foreground. You don't know what they are going there... but they are there nonetheless.
I love "The Sound of Music." I always turn to it. Besides Chris Plummer being GORGEOUS, I appreciate a good musical now and then.

Edelweiss, Edelweiss
Every morning you greet me
Small and white, clean and bright
You look happy to meet me

Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow
Bloom and grow forever

Edelweiss, Edelweiss
Bless my homeland forever

Friday, August 29, 2008

the strokes.

I want to paint. Feel the brushstrokes, wipe paint off and feel its coolness between my fingers. Turn a blank canvas into something. Get some artistic energy out.

I want a boyfriend for a few days. Someone to help me say good-bye to the city. Someone.

I want to stay, but I want to go. I want to work, but I want to rest.

The bright lights.

Forgive me. I need a little cheering up. Anderson and James Carville just aren't doing it for me tonight. A hurricane. Hopefully, the bosses will play their cards right and not screw this one up.

I think I need to go to sleep. Just to get the night over with.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

the golden age.

Just when you start to dance with the city, you've got to head out of town.
There's that feeling in your gut that somewhere, between Foggy Bottom and Capitol South, you've left something behind.
Not a sweater, not a book. You left your inhibitions, your insecurity behind. You've stopped looking at the map, stopped counting the stations as you pass them. You just ride.

Dear Washington,
You are such a fool of a place. Why the nation's capital is full of the homeless I will never understand. Why violence occurs every night, and with the morning news comes another death.
But you are one heck of a place. I'm not sure I'm in love, but I'm leaving, so maybe absence makes my heart grow fonder for a city.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

the journey.

“Once you have traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and over again in the quiestest chambers. The mind can never break off from the journey.” - Pat Conroy

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

cat poop.

So, (crap, why do I start everything with "So,"?) I'm house/cat-sitting for my landlord. Which went well Sunday (fed cat) and Monday (fed cat, watered front yard), but today..
it's gone to poo.
I should explain that the landlord is having the house painted, so there's a painter guy in and out of here while I'm at work.
Being a guy, he leaves his stuff everywhere, without minding to clean up behind himself.
The cat's litter box is in the half-bath on the ground floor, and after using the bathroom, which he didn't flush (GROSS), he went on to leave the light on, BUT close the door.
So the cat pooed on the floor, and yours truly has to clean it up. I don't like cats. They are not fluffy and squishy. They are mean and might eat me while I'm asleep. I think those Siamese cats in "Lady and the Tramp" have scarred me. Anyway, I only saw the before mentioned cat poop after sitting down to eat.
I have a weak stomach. I can barely wash my dishes after dinner because I'm that quick of a gag reflex. And of course, I was starving for dinner, so I had a huge meal. Pasta, then weirdly a bowl of cereal, and then a cupcake.
And now I have to clean up cat poo. Seriously?
In other news, I have to get out of this city. I'm so ready. There are currently hooligans hanging out on the street, which isn't fun, when your car is parked out there.
I hate it sometimes, like now.
Anyway, I've called about apartments, and I've got a few options. I just want to have tv and internet as soon as I move in, which you have to be careful about.
When I went to the DC United game last weekend, I thought about how different life could be. How you make one decision and then nothing really happens, but your life forms.
I used to play soccer, I actually loved it. When RPAR stopped having leagues for my age, I had to quit. In P.E. during 8th grade, we had to play soccer in front of the high school coach, and I was one of the two (out of the entire grade) that he wanted for the team.
I don't know why I didn't try out. But instead of going to soccer practice after school, I went to my television, watching news. It's been about 10 years that I've been watching. At first, I didn't watch because I wanted it to be my career, or that I had to know every breaking story. I watched for the fun of it. Which is what I've been doing for the last two weeks, watching for fun. Which is weird. Because I've gotten so used to critiquing news, that it's hard for me to appreciate it. I can appreciate newspaper articles, magazine layouts, but it's really hard for me to love a newscast. Because I always see the faults, but I guess since it's live, there are hazards.
But oh, what could have been, had I stayed with soccer. But I never would have been nerdy about Shep.
On the House floor today, there was a tall glass of water. Seriously, this guy was beautiful. Sigh. I've done really good not having any DC crushes (besides a Capitol Police or two ;)). So I guess I'm allowed one my last two weeks.
Shep just said balls. On the internet. :D

Monday, August 25, 2008


Holy crap.
I freaking love no commercials, NO MERCY with Shep.
I've got tears in my eyes.
This is what news needs to be. Mistakes, filling air time, love it!!!!

Sigh. I don't like the political hubbaloo.

I guess it's time for sleep..

Sunday, August 24, 2008

give us faith so we'll be safe.

I haven't listened to Josh Groban in forever. But today was a day where some Groban was needed.

I went to church, which I miss my home church in Louisiana. It's weird that you have to search for a church that reminds you of the church you grew up in, because that's what you are used to and feels comfortable. Hopefully, I can find a good church in Roanoke.

Today I spoiled myself. After church, I went to Chipotle. The last time I had Chipotle was in South Orlando with an editor. It was so good, but I guess the Florida sun adds something to it.
Then I went to Coldstone. Which, holy cow, is so stinking good. God forgive me for all the fat grams I ate today. I had cake batter ice cream (which I highly recommend), mixed with brownies and Reese's. I think I fainted from sugar rush. SO. GOOD. I'm glad there's one close to Roanoke. I will have to try the cookie dough ice cream next time.

My faith sure has been strengthened this summer. It's essential to know that there's someone there with you, even when you feel a deep loneliness. I love knowing that God has everything lined up for me already, I just have to follow along. I completely believe in guardian angels now. Others can think of them as coincidences, but I'll go with angels. All the people who helped me figure this city out... who took me under their wings, even if it was only for a few seconds. I've been pulled from the wreckage. As the memories seep from my veins to my photo albums, I know I've found comfort.

Spend all your time waiting/For that second chance/For a break that would make it okay/ There's always one reason/To feel not good enough/ And its hard at the end of the day/ I need some distraction/Oh beautiful release/ Memory seeps from my veins/Let me be empty/
And weightless and maybe/ I'll find some peace tonight

til the next time

Honey, is there any place that you would like to eat?
I know a coffee shop down on fifty-second street
And I dont need no fancy food and I dont need no fancy wine
And I sure dont need the tears you cry
Till the next time we say goodbye
Till the next time we say goodbye
Till the next time we say goodbye
Ill be thinking of you
Ill be thinking of you

Yeah, a movie house on forty-second street
Aint a very likely place for you and I to meet
Watching the snow swirl around your hair and around your feet
And Im thinking to myself she surely looks a treat
Till the next time we say goodbye
Till the next time we say goodbye
Till the next time that we kiss goodnight
Ill be thinking of you
Ill be thinking of you

I cant go on like this, can ya? can ya?
I cant go on like this, can ya?

You give me a cure all from new orleans
Now thats a recipe I sure do need
Some cider vinegar and some elderberry wine
May cure all your ills, but it cant cure mine
Your lousiana recipes have let me down
Your lousiana recipes have surely let me down
Till the next time we say goodbye
Drink to it
Till the next time we say goodbye
Till the next time that we kiss goodnight
Till the next time we say goodbye
Till the next time we say goodbye
Till the next time that we kiss goodnight
Ill be thinking of you
Ill be thinking of you

Saturday, August 23, 2008


I love, in no particular order:
  • The smell of Marlboro Light cigarette smoke. It's very comforting.
  • Andy Coop's crinkly eyes when he laughs. And I love his laugh.
  • I love the drive between Mississippi and Florida.
  • The smell of chlorine. Reminds me of Mamaw's pool.
  • Fathers that adore their young children.
  • Longworth's sweet tea
  • Starbuck's marble cake, lemon cake.. heck.. I love Starbucks.
  • fountain Mountain Dew
  • Orchids. I'm obsessed with taking pictures of them.
  • Random sheets of paper that remind me I live in DC.
  • My staff id.
  • National news.
  • Peter, Paul and Mary.
  • Butterflies.
  • Orange flowers.
  • Purple.
  • Squishy pillows.
  • Clean sheets.
  • Slick pictures.
  • Scrapbooking stores.
  • You.

can you believe summer is gone?

August and Everything After

I'm really ready for Coldstone tomorrow.

I'm ready to get out of the city. To breathe air again, instead of some homeless guy's funk.
But DC has taught me a lot. I'm going to gather those all up and write about that soon. Be looking for a facebook note as well.

I'm excited. After the station here trampled me, I'm excited about news again. I'm watching it again.. of course that could also be that convention season is coming up. Woo! I love conventions for some weird reason. All they do all day is rehash the previous night's speeches, but I enjoy it. Yay mic headsets. It's one of the Super Bowls of news.. more like the Indy 500 with the headsets.

Anyway.. I need to tidy up.. and I have to do laundry tomorrow, along with researching apartments.

Friday, August 22, 2008


I forgot how much I adored Shep. These last few days, I've been obsessively watching again, like I did when I was in high school. He's wearing a gray suit, with a blue shirt. Crap. Why couldn't he have worked in DC so I could stalk him?

Cause I would. I'd hang out at his Metro stop, stealing glances. I'd take pictures of his rowhouse, and look for available places close by. I'd stalk the studios, the bar next door.

Sometimes, I feel old. But I still feel sixteen when I watch him.

don't let it bring you down...

Old man lying by the side of the road
With the lorries rolling by,
Blue moon sinking from the weight of the load
And the building scrape the sky,
Cold wind ripping down the allay at dawn
And the morning paper flies,
Dead man lying by the side of the road
With the daylight in his eyes.

Don't let it bring you down
Its only castles burning,
Find someone who's turning
And you will come around.

Blind man running through the light of the night
With an answer in his hand,
Come on down to the river of sight
And you can really understand,
Red lights flashing through the window in the rain,
Can you hear the sirens moan?
White cane lying in a gutter in the lane,
If you're walking home alone.

Don't let it bring you down
It's only castles burning,
Just find someone who's turning
And you will come around.

Don't let it bring you down
It's only castles burning,
Just find someone who's turning
And you will come around.

what have you found? the same old fears?

I suck at being off of work.
Anyway, I guess it's time to eat breakfast, though I don't want to eat because I'm nervous about my damn phone ringing.

Then it's off to another adventure. I'm walking to work. And trying to find a CVS on this side of town..

Thursday, August 21, 2008

wish you were here.

"I'm a bachelor, I don't know very much about women, I lead a quiet sort of life down here at Manderley as you know, but I should say that kindliness, and sincerity, and if I may say so - modesty - are worth far more to a man, to a husband, than all the wit and beauty in the world."

With two of my friends getting married in two days, I'm in the mood for a wedding rant. I can't understand how you could be married before you explore. When you're younger than 25, you haven't learned how to survive yet. You're still in the nest. You may live on your own, but there's still a level of comfort, because you're still depending on others for much of your help. I wouldn't mind having someone else along on this crazy ride, but everyone says that being married won't hold them back... Every time, every relationship I've seen - someone's been held back. Sure, you have to make compromises, but one small compromise could have been your ticket to your pre-wedding band dreams. Instead, you're asking him if you're allowed to buy that pair of shoes.

Today I decided whenever I get a house, a real house, I want one room to be a library/study. I want to have subscriptions to all those glossy magazines with fat pages, stuffed with perfume samples. And I'm going to raid the bookstore during sales, buying coffeetable books, full of slick prints.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Jesus Christ, save me!

Geez, that dadgum alarm scared the mushrooms out of me!

Monday, August 18, 2008

the orchid thief

I still miss it.


Ask me why a Metro Access driver decided to ask me directions to Mass Ave. I barely know how to get around this neighborhood, and I refuse to drive in town. It's too darn confusing, with the streets that go diagonally, and the whole four quadrants of the city thing.

I saw someone with true cankles today. Freeeeaky.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

what do you want?

what do i want? movies on a saturday night. a charged mp3 player. money for new books. a good a/c system. a van gogh print in my kitchen. a chair and a half just to read in. guilty pleasure subscriptions to "O" Magazine and Martha Stewart's mag. A Blackberry. Pilates class. Greasy Chinese food. Dairy Queen. Spanish moss on trees.

I don't understand the trend of wearing scarves in the summer. I love movies. Tomorrow will be good. I need this. I need that.

I scared myself this morning, but it's good to know I know how to take care of myself.

Friday, August 15, 2008

if you think of me..

I'm watching Shepard, for the first time in a while... and it makes me think.
Is there a good way to move ahead without selling out?
This is the last time I try for tv for a while if this doesn't work out. Then I'm just moving on. Something else... and it will just be a childish notion.
Today I went through the Capitol, went to the LoC and the Supreme Court. A pretty successful tourist-y day. I'm going back to the LoC to check out their gift shop, and other things tomorrow and probably fitting in a Target trip.
I really want to watch The Sound of Music.
I miss my friends.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

virginia is for....

8 hours of driving in one day is just too much with no cruise control. I did go through a can of Diet Mountain Dew, a frappacino, a roll of breathmints, two pieces of gum, a small sweet tea and a HUGE Diet Mountain Dew.

Life is strange. I am strange. I unrolled the window while it was sprinkling to smell the air. I felt like a dog smelling the wind go by, but it has been forever since I've smelled rain over dirt (clean dirt, not DC dirt)

Saturday, August 9, 2008

you gotta fast car...

I just found "Bug Juice" from the Disney Channel on YouTube. I'm freaking in love.

Anyway, I've got to make a decision this week. Either to stay or go, to go one way or another. I know both choices are great.. but I still feel the urge to head back to the pines, the grasses of the South.

And if one of those choices can give me that feeling of home a little sooner, I just might have to go with that one.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

already home

It's hard to believe I've been here two full months.
It's hard to believe how unhappy I was, and how happy I am.
It's hard to believe the next six months.

RWE would be proud.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

bye bye blackbird

A last day has come and gone. And I am thankful.
Here's the blessings list
  • A full-time job
  • My own desk, with a shelf, at that full-time job.
  • Some awesome co-workers.
  • The chance to breathe for a while.
  • A room to myself!
  • Ice cream.
  • The chance of a lunch out (maybe with Coldstone on the side)
  • Another church to try out this morning.
  • Sleepless in Seattle on TNT.
  • The promise of new shoes, and the possibility of new jeans.
Yes. Life begins again.